What To Do When Your Ex, An Active Duty Service Member, Isn’t Paying Child Support
Navigating child support can be challenging enough under ordinary circumstances. But when the parent responsible for paying is an active duty service member, the situation can feel even more complex. The good news is that while military life introduces unique challenges, it also provides specific avenues for enforcement.
Below, our friends from New Beginnings Family Law discuss what to do if your ex is an active duty service member and they are not paying child support.
If your ex is in the military and has stopped paying child support, you might feel helpless or unsure of your options. But rest assured, there are several tools and procedures in place—within both the military and the civilian legal system—to hold service members accountable for their obligations.
The Military Doesn’t Exempt A Parent From Child Support
It’s crucial to understand that military service does not excuse a parent from their financial duty to their children. In fact, every branch of the U.S. Armed Forces requires its members to comply with child support orders issued by civilian courts. When a service member fails to do so, it’s not just a legal issue—it can also become a matter of military discipline.
Step 1: Communicate Directly (If It’s Safe and Possible)
Sometimes, simply contacting the other parent to request payment can be enough, especially if the missed payment was due to confusion, a temporary financial issue, or an oversight. However, if prior attempts to communicate have been ignored, or if reaching out would be unsafe or unproductive, it’s time to take more formal steps.
Step 2: Contact the Service Member’s Commander
Every service member has a chain of command, and this is one of the most effective ways to address unpaid child support. You can submit a formal non-support complaint letter to the service member’s immediate commanding officer.
The commander is required to take the issue seriously. Their responsibilities include:
- Investigating the situation
- Counseling the service member
- Determining the service member’s intentions
- Taking administrative or disciplinary action if necessary
This approach is often quick, low-cost, and taken very seriously within the military structure. Service members know that being labeled non-compliant can negatively impact their career, promotions, and duty assignments.
Step 3: Seek a Court-Ordered Remedy
While the military can encourage compliance, the civil court system is the primary path for establishing and enforcing formal child support obligations.
If a support order is already in place and your ex is ignoring it, you may be able to request the court to issue an income withholding order. This order allows child support payments to be automatically deducted directly from the service member’s military pay. An income withholding order provides consistency, prevents delays, and ensures payments are made according to the court’s instructions.
If a court order does not yet exist, it’s advisable to file for one as soon as possible. Courts can calculate an appropriate support amount based on the service member’s military income, including their base pay, housing allowances, and other benefits.
Why Enforcement Is So Important
Child support isn’t just a financial obligation—it’s a lifeline for the child. Regular support helps provide for stable housing, food, education, healthcare, and more. When support goes unpaid, it’s the child who suffers the most, which is why the law and the military take enforcement so seriously.
Military service members are held to a high standard of personal conduct. Failing to support a child can result in non-judicial punishment, loss of rank, or even discharge in severe cases.
Protect Your Family
If your ex is in the military and has stopped paying child support, you are not without options. The key is to act promptly, document everything, and use both civilian and military channels of accountability. Your child’s support is not optional, and there are systems in place to ensure they get what they deserve. A military divorce lawyer can help you protect your and your family’s financial well-being.